Have you seen the comedy film ‘How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days’, starring Kate Hudson as Andy? Andy’s genius plan was to drive an unlucky guy away using only the “classic mistakes women make”.
Well, Halloween is upon us, but thankfully you can scare away employees any day of the year. We’ve collected 10 interpersonal styles that will have most employees running away from you faster than from a haunted house!
NOTE: Please treat these scenarios with a pinch of salt! They are examples of what NOT to do! The negative characteristics mentioned are extreme versions of the Profile:Match2 assessment personality scales, which may occasionally be evidences in an individual’s style, along with many positive characteristics. Do keep in mind that both very low and high scores on the scales have a number of upsides as well as downsides – this article only focuses on the potential downsides, in an extreme and hypothetical way.
Smug, opinionated, arrogant
Let’s just settle the facts right now: you’re the boss and there is a reason why it’s you sitting on the throne and not someone else. Make your subjects (read: employees) know how their contributions and ideas are not required or welcomed. Daily meandering meetings can provide the perfect opportunity to demonstrate this behaviour in front of the targeted employees – disregard their views, dismiss their ideas, and express your opinion strongly, even in those areas which are not your realm of expertise.
Intense, unpredictable, touchy
Make sure your employees have no idea who’s going to show up at the office from one day to the next – everyone loves a good surprise, don’t they? Be unpredictable, intense and irritable. Try to make your emotional ups and downs as visible as possible – hug every employee on a good day, and when you manage to punch a hole in the wall after a failed project, just proudly frame it like an exhibit in an art gallery.
Solitary, reluctant to interact with others
The best company you can keep is yourself. In order to avoid any disturbance deriving from the meaningless conversations in the office, you have to stand your ground. No eye contact, no questions around weekend plans or children, no informal conversation around the coffee machine. Better to wear earphones whenever you step away from your precious desk to avoid getting involved in the office life – cherish your solitude.
Competitive, too focused on getting ahead
Luckily in an office environment you can make a competition out of anything – the sky is the limit! Who has the most space in the fridge? Who gets the fancy new office with enormous glass windows? Who wins the battle over the thermostat? Ensure everyone know you are not here to play around or have fun – it’s a zero-sum game, where someone has to lose in order for you to win. To assert your dominance, just follow this simple rule: never ever back down or walk away from a potential fight.
Aloof, not interested in others
This can be a tricky one. You need to make it clear from the get-go to all new employees that they are not welcome in your office to talk about anything personal going on in their life. Showing interest in one of your employee’s personal problems can set a dangerous precedent. It might give them the impression that you’re approachable, engaging and receptive – and you wouldn’t want that!
Avoids personal responsibility
Nobody wants to be the person who makes the tough decisions, right? Fortunately, there is an easy and simple way out from this highly inconvenient dilemma – just avoid making any final decisions, ever. And if you are forced to make one, under no circumstances should you make an unpopular decision on your own – ensure that someone else has been involved in the decision-making process who can later be blamed as the initiator. Win-win.
Impulsive, breaks the rules
The rules are there to be broken, simple as that. Successful people can and should create their own rules – why let mundane organisational procedures and policies put your high-flying creativity in an “iron-cage”? If your employees are not courageous enough to follow your impulsive and risky decisions, don’t bother to carry the weight – the sanctity of your very individualism is at stake here.
Critical, difficult to please, micro-manages
Do you have daily struggles when none of your employees’ work can meet your high standards? Do you often end up doing all the tasks yourself, just because it’s quicker than trying to explain it to them? Congratulations, you’re on the right track towards being a perfectionistic manager. You just have to make sure that you vocalise your concerns as often as possible, coming across as fussy, critical and stubborn – if they cannot do things your way, they’re free to leave.
Predictable, sticks with the tried-and-tested
Anything new or different poses a threat. As a boss and a leader, your job is to make sure that no innovative new ideas or solutions can challenge the well-established way of working. If new employees are trying to disturb the harmony with their unconventional and original approach, you have to do everything in your power to eliminate the danger. In summary: “New is always bad! Never not be afraid.” (The Croods)
Everything by-the-book, intolerant of lack of knowledge
Knowledge is power. Don’t forget to give enthusiastic lectures on how attending a prestigious university (perhaps one that just happens to be your alma mater) or obtaining a qualification is essential to being successful in life. Hiding your disapproval when someone hasn’t read the book or article you’re talking about is absolutely unnecessary – otherwise, how would your employees know that you’re utterly disappointed in their less-informed approach?
The ten days are up. If you’ve been following the instructions well, your employees should be clearing out their desks right now. Congratulations!
How NOT To Lose An Employee in 10 Days
However, in case you think it might be better to retain those individuals you carefully selected and not scare them away, the Profile:Match2 assessment can help. Profile:Match2 delivers Selection Reports, Interview Guides, and Personal Development Reports, all focussed on the competencies deemed to be essential for a particular job role. Use our Leadership competencies template to assess how your leaders fare, and where they could be making mistakes. The Profile:Match2 suite offers solutions across the employee lifecycle – making sure that the story has a happy ending for both your potential employees and your existing talent.